Monday, 25 February 2013

Karen writes: IM Hypochondria and Paranoia

Sometimes getting close to the culmination of something as life consuming as Ironman, you are not paranoid enough, like I wore a pair of nice slides with a slight heel out shopping with the kids on Saturday and got blisters.  Other times you think the world is out to stop you getting there, I think there should be an official disorder, Ironman Hypochondria and Paranoia or IMHP for short.

On Sunday I was running along a bush trail, talking (what else) and my right foot hit a rough patch and I lurched off to the side and twisted my ankle.  The runner I was with said "good save" when I corrected and kept on running, I made some throwaway comment, trying to sound casual, but I really wasn't feeling casual at all.  So much goes through your head in a short time, have I done damage, how bad, will I be ok for Ironman, can I even get home?  I kept running and the pain went away, sometimes that happens with a twisted ankle, if the pain wont let you keep running, or doesn't go away quickly, then you know it's more serous than a twist.  Then I was thinking about what would have happened if it had been a sprain or a break, Ironman dreams over, Kate would KILL me, all due to a moment of inattention and too much talking.

I'm in the grip of IMHP again now, except this time I am sure my throat hurts.  I suspect that the swim I just had in the choppy sea, swallowing all that salty water probably has something to do with both the sore throat (and nose) and lack of desire for dinner, but IMHP insists that it should at least be early flu but could just as easily be a rare and sinister tropical disease.

And what about that hip twinge when I stretched in the shower? Are my knees creaking more than usual?  I haven't had a massage for months, don't they really recommend massages?  I ate a heap of salmon for dinner, what about that thing I read about mercury in fish?  IMHP again.  Sadly the only cure is Ironman, one large dose to be taken in one long go on an empty stomach, the main contra-indication is sanity, and side effects guaranteed to occur.