Karen writes: Error of Judgement

I've just apologised to the whanau.  I made an error of judgement, should have known better, but as sometimes happens it took getting out and actually making the mistake to come to the conclusion that I was wrong.

I got home after work knowing I had a run to do today, a meeting tomorrow meant that I couldn't just shift the run...or that was what I told myself.  It was raining heavily, and there was lightning in the distance back over town.  I decided that I wasn't worried about the rain, I could wear my headlamp to combat the early dark, and I'd be running in the deep forest trails so I wouldn't need to worry should the lightning get any closer.  When I left home there was at least a minute between lightning and thunder which by my calculations made it about 20km away.  I was asked when I walked out the door whether I thought it was really a good idea, I brushed the concern away, pointed out my smart clothing choices, the shortened route, and that I was staying away from open areas.

I was soaked immediately, every time I dropped my hands down the water poured out of my coat sleeves, it had been running down my neck and collecting in pools before the sleeve cuffs.  By the time I was less than a km into the run, still in a relatively exposed area, the gap between lightning and thunder closed down to 30 seconds, then 15 seconds, then 5.  It was dark, the flashes were behind me, then off to my right, then directly in front.  I tried to remember what the advice was about being outside in thunderstorms...apart from not being outside.

It was an absolutely glorious run.  I was full of adrenaline, I was running hard, my muscles were zinging and the air was so fresh, it felt GREAT. Running never usually feels that good so I reveled in it! I do so much better in cool temperatures anyway, but I think there was some extra charge in the air from the weather and a whole lot of things came together to make the experience uplifting.  I was mesmerised by the lines made by the rain in the light from my headlamp. The cascade of water sheeting over my buff clad (and warm) head meant I had to take off the clear glasses which I normally wear to keep rain out of my eyes, but even that felt amazing. The brilliant flashes in the sky seen through the trees were stunning, and the rivulets of water making forked patterns on the trail meant I had to concentrate on my footing, it was an alien and exciting and just plain wonderful landscape.

It was a mistake.  While I felt safe enough for most of the run, when I got to the last km before home and the lightning was immediately ahead of me and I had to hit the exposed roads, at last the nervousness of rationality caught up with me and made me less appreciative of the impressive display.  The glimmer of satisfaction from taking on and winning such a risky challenge disappeared when confronted with the comment "I'm glad you're home, I had made the decision that if you weren't home by 6.30 I would be calling for help". At the dinner table the whanau discussed my decision making process, we came to the conclusion that everyone is allowed to make a mistake, but this one was potentially wrong on so many levels, I might have felt ok but I wasn't thinking about anyone who was worrying at home, or anyone who might have had to enter the bush trails to try and find me if I had twisted an ankle, had a tree fall on me, or worst case scenario gotten fried by lightning.  Did I learn anything this time?  I can only say that I hope so.

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