Thursday, 14 August 2014

Karen writes: The voices...

How did it happen...again?  Next week, my first ultra-marathon is next week!  Am I ready, well of course not.  I am never ready, never manage to complete a training programme as intended, never believe I can manage to stay completely healthy and injury free, never shake this feeling that I am not good enough, and I am sure that the day of the race (and every day before it) will be a complete disaster. I wont finish, oh goodness, perhaps I wont even start!

Reality is that out of the now quite large number of pretty serious events that I have signed up for, I've never missed one.  There is also nothing to say that anything in the above attack pessimism is true, nothing to indicate that I wont have an absolute ball and achieve exactly what I want to on the day.  I have only ever had a couple of events where I didn't whole-heartedly enjoy them once I actually hit the road (or water). In only one (last years Rotorua Half Ironman) did I really think not finishing was an option, but even then it was never really a case of giving up. The consequences of not finishing are usually always more horrble than the misery of keeping going, one heavy foot after another.  Of course, getting there in the end on a hard day is priceless, what do they say..."pain is temporary, pride is forever" or something similar anyway, it's true.

There are currently two voices in my head having a conversation about the 50 km run next week, its a conversation that occurs before most events, no matter what preparation I do. Voice One says "it's only a bit longer than your normal marathon", the other says "who are you kidding, its almost 20% longer!".  Voice One "you have done more and longer runs that ever", voice Two says "your total mileage is the same as usual". Voice One comes back "all those hill repeats and squats, you've never done those before, you must be strong", voice Two pipes up "Hill SMILL, how does being able to run (dawdle) up Maraetai drive hill 13 times help you run 50km?".  Voice One thinks it has the last word, "at the end of the day you can do what you always do, run a bit, walk and talk and concentrate on fun".   Voice Two is just plain persistent though, "there is a 7 hour cut-off you know, some injury will show up and you will have the flu so it will be a very long walk".

Perhaps when I get on that plane next week, I can just make sure Voice Two doesn't have it's passport?